29 May

When all looks bleak and I feel somewhat distant even when I am surrounded by people, I seek comfort in your words.

Those handwritten letters all those years ago are still the ones I read – not because I miss you, because it carries words of someone who used to love me unconditionally. Someone who had cared for me, cherished me. Those were the words that carried weight. That cocooned me, soothed me that everything will be okay.

I wish I could speak freely with you again – shared how left out I felt. Shared my frustrations and instead joke about random silly things. Talk on the phone as though we were teenagers with no worries of tomorrow. I wish we were under the stars where the buildings are now standing tall – where time stand still.

These past few years we grew up, too soon and too fast. Regardless, thank you for the words that lifted my spirit up and kept me hopeful.

Hope to see you again.



new year, old me.

6 Jan

It had been raining heavily since last year.
But fireworks still manage to go off, much to everyone’s happiness and unhappy mothers trying to make their babies fall asleep.

After more than 10 years, two close girlfriends and myself managed to do a staycation in Park Royal in Kitchener Road. (L told the driver Park Hotel instead. *face palm* but thankfully it was just opposite the actual hotel)

J was recommending the chinese restaurant on the 2nd floor, well known for its delicious beancurd with wolfberry. So instead of walking out in the open with the eve impending rain, we decided to go there instead.

Si Chuan Dou Hua restaurant was soooo good. Service was wonderful, the food was heavenly, we even managed to take away the dishes that we could not finish. But the beancurd….I can never look at any other beancurd. This beancurd was the king of all beancurds. The syrup was sweet, the bean curd was smooth, the wolfberry……no words. Literally, no words. The thing about chinese cuisine is that, the food creates a balance to your health. Look at wolfberry for example, its good for your vision and its antioxidant. The food we ate were fish soup, vegetables, fish crackers, noodles with crab meat….they are all cooked with no msg and using different spices to bring out the flavours.

You should head down there and try it for yourself. We all went for a quick dip in the pool afterwards and into the steam room after. It feels like a good closure to end 2017.

Furthermore, instead of heading all the way to a place congested with people to watch fireworks, we decided to just head down to the nearby town council that does fireworks for the area and watch there instead. We were thankful to be 90% dry.

Hope you had a wonderful start to 2018 as well 🙂


Rosemary, That’s For Remembrance

9 Dec

Another year is ending…if rosemary is abundant and cheap in this country, I would have thrown it all over.

Today I enjoyed a casual day of going for a facial and having lunch in town and shopping all by myself. I was under the assumption that he could join me for lunch but I was wrong. He decided to pop by Nylon to have coffee with his mum and belatedly told me (as if I could read minds!)

I like his mum. I do, really. We have a few similar interest and our silent moments are never awkward. Do note that I am always nervous around prospective mother-in-laws. But I do secretly hope that she likes me too.

Anyways, he then continued to say that they will be going back to the house to make desserts and I can come down if I want to (at this point he did not ask if my facial was good or if I had lunch or if I had anything on)

I had errands to run such as getting a secret santa gift under $20 at Sephora and feeling pretty annoyed at him for being so selfish. Since it was such a nice day, I walked all the way to sit down at this Japanese place that is well known for their matcha latte. He hates everything matcha and implied that I should go with friends instead. Its been almost 3 years so I ordered, had the cutest bento set and the matcha latte and read my book.

It feels good to take my own time to do things.
My favourite place has always been the Library – where you can always gain a little knowledge and quietness.

Another favourite place is the open sea – just you and nature.
Which reminds me, I should go diving again next year.

Merry Christmas in advance everyone 🙂


3 Sep

My last post was about the monotone-ness of my job. Fast forward 2 months and guess what? I’m starting my new job tomorrow. Excited? Yes. Nervous? Yes. Ready for change and challenge? Definitely.

It was more of a blessing in disguise. I was forced to search and never give up on hope even though it seems bleak and i was actually prepared to be unemployed for a month before I go into panic mode. But alhamdulilah, God answer to my prayers.

We just recently celebrated Hari Raya Aidiladha. There has been quite a fair bit of videos explaining Eidul Adha and Eidul Fitri  – even info that I did not know about! It’s good that knowledge is shared around. I always take it for granted until someone ask me about it and I found it hard to explain. So never stop learning. That is very important.

I had two weeks to relax and while most people would straightaway book a flight overseas, I decided to chill and do things in my homeland. I didn’t feel the need to travel since I’ve recently just came back from Europe in May. I will eventually have leave in lieu this coming December – they wont bring it over so I will definitely bring my mom to Vietnam (since she hasn’t been there and I’m dying to be at Mui Ne). I didn’t get to do all the things in my list but I’ve managed to do some and that itself has been a great achievement.

Such as:

  • using the new stroller I got for my cat and stroll him to the clinic to get him vaccinated
  • went for facial and massage
  • attended friend’s weddings
  • surveyed furniture at IKEA
  • Climb @ ClimbCentral
  • Bought Melissa Sandals that I’ve been eyeing
  • Painted the guest room

Hopefully these last 4 months will be good to all of us.



The Last 10 Days;

18 Jun

I wished I could say that I didn’t blog as much because I was busy or I had something to do that was more important.

But its not. There wasn’t really much to say. As of last year on this day, I just started out my new workplace, new colleagues, new challenges, got my wisdom tooth out, started fasting and everything.

This year….all those familiar faces have gone, apparently I got so dehydrated I had fever, headache and back ache. I didn’t feel joyous. I feel bad for wanting this month to end because I wanted to eat during the daytime. But that’s my honest opinion. My job pays me good money but I don’t feel motivated, I don’t feel anything.

I’ve been to interviews but they were never the right fit. One even had a bar installed in the office. LOL. Does it happen when you’re 26 and you just feel lost? But you try to make it day-to-day, hoping something good will come out tomorrow?

All I wanted was a SME/MNC who could take me in and cherish me and watch me grow and learn. This year just feel so despondent. I feel despondent. He hasn’t gotten a job yet. I don’t know how many he has applied, why there hasn’t been any calls, I don’t want to blame myself but I do. It doesn’t seem like I can have my wedding in three years. The word for the year so far: Despondent.

At least part of my trip overseas was good (minus the travel buddy who does not appreciate the time and effort I fucking put in)

I just want June to be over and done with.


Travel Partner.

12 May

I chose the wrong travel partner.
I thought I did the right thing. But I was wrong.
So very fucking wrong.

I think after this trip, I won’t be going to any more birthday trips till I settle down.
I don’t think its worth to put so much effort in planning alone.
It’s really tiring and to not be appreciated? No ‘thank you for doing everything up, figuring out where to go, what to do, what to eat etc”
Like I put all these efforts creating excel sheet and whatnot and you can’t even comment or come up with your own ideas on how to get there?

Fuck la.
I’ll make the best out of it but I really miss the family that matters.
and my best friends.

I realise she may be my longest friend, but she’s no longer my best.


1 May


Told myself I want to go to Amsterdam before I settle down.

And guess what bitches? I did (:

I am fucking proud of myself.